He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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