i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
