Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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