Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
