When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just puked most of my soul out..
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