this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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