they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
