$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
