only if we run a train.
done.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
