He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
