STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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