Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
