Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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