So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
