She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
