wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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