I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
