Whoa Z and x make the same sound
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
