This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
