I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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