talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
