i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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