Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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