Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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