i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
MIDGETS
????
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
