Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
