how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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