all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
