some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
