You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
