I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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