And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
