Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
