He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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