i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
