I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
