I wanna bring you to show and tell
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just had sex on a roof
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
