he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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