It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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