Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
