Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
