Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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