i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just pee around me
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
