I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
