Me too!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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