i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
