sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
