as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize