I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
