the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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