is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
