can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
