At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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