What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
