Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
