We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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