Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
