Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
