nut hugger
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
