would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
