If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize