Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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