On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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