fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
