from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
