And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
