Can Purell be used as lube?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
