You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
