HIV tests are more positive than that guy
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
