Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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